


Make the Voices go Away

by TheLawyersKeeper



Series: Ben Solo's Guide to Misadventures in Smuggling [4]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben is hearing Vader in his head, F/M, Family Drama, Good Parent Han Solo, Happy Ending, Honeymoon, Jedi Luke Skywalker, Married Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Naked Cuddling, Possible Mental Health Issues, Protective Han Solo, Protective Rey (Star Wars), Smuggler Ben Solo, Smuggler Rey, Smut, royal family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:48:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLawyersKeeper/pseuds/TheLawyersKeeper
Summary: "Did I ever tell you why my dad and Luke stopped speaking?" Rey wiped a tear from her husband's eye, heart shattering as it was immediately replaced by another. He was shaking, hands clasping his knees tightly as if it could hold him together."No, would you like to?" She cupped his cheek, smiling as reassuringly as she could even though she could feel her own throat closing up with emotion. He looked at her, and her heart broke again at the tiny, broken smile on his lips as he let out a tearfully unhappy laugh."It's because of me."
Relationships: Ben Solo & Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Ben Solo's Guide to Misadventures in Smuggling [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611718
Comments: 10
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

Ben jolted awake, chest heaving as he rubbed his sweat-drenched hair back from his forehead. He shook his head as the echoes of that _horrible_ voice in his head lingered. He wiped at the tears that had leaked from his eyes, looking down at his wife as she slept peacefully next to him.

 _You’ve never deserved her. A monster like you_.

Ben flinched at the vulgar tone, climbing from the massive bed and walking out to the balcony, sighing as the cool breeze kissed his sweaty skin. He leaned against the marble railing, looking out over the calm Lake Andrasha and focusing on the beautiful mountain range behind it as he tried to even out his breathing again.

The first two weeks of their honeymoon had been wedded bliss, and speaking candidly he’d be shocked if they didn’t go home with an extra heartbeat on board. He loved watching how Rey lit up as she explored different worlds and cultures, how she’d grip his hand in hers and beam up at him quickly before dragging him to the next vendor or lookout. They’d left BB-8 at a special droid house to get his ow few weeks of updates and pampering. It’d been so long since it had been just the two of them, with no jobs or weird dignitaries who wanted them to act more like a royal couple. For all his reassurances that they were just _Ben and Rey_ , with all these whisperings of the Dark Side he knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be getting dragged into it all.

And those _voices_.

He’d been doing a good job of hiding them for years, he remembered how scared his family had been, how it had almost ended his father and uncle’s relationship. He had hoped that by telling them the voices were gone, that his dad would get his best friend back and his marriage to his mother would remain intact.

Then he met Rey.

Rey with her bad jokes, headstrong attitude and the way she snorted when she laughed too hard. She was so _good_ , and she made the voices go away permanently.

He hadn’t meant to hide them from her, but as their relationship got more and more serious the voices faded and he’d genuinely believed they were gone.

But the Empire was back, and so was that awful voice.

 _Vader_.

“Ben?” he was pulled out of his thoughts as a sleepy voice murmured behind him, arms wrapping around his torso and lips pressing softly against his spine. He smiled and felt the last of the tension melt from his body, turning to pull his sleep-warm wife against his chest, kissing the top of her head affectionately.

“Hey sweetheart, did I wake you?” Rey shook her head, clearly still very much asleep as she nuzzled closer, pulling the bedsheet tighter around her naked form and blinking up at him.

“You alright?” Ben nodded, swallowing thickly and locking the darkness back into a desolate corner of his mind.

“Yeah, just a little restless, go back to bed I’ll be in soon” Rey hummed, pretending to mull it over before smirking at him playfully.

“Or, you could come with me _now_ ” Ben laughed through his nose, leaning down to kiss her softly.

“C’mon Ben, we’ve only got a few more days before we go back to the real world, I don’t want you out here brooding” Ben grinned, kissing her neck playfully and guiding her back into the lavish suite.

“Well, if you insist” she grinned, grabbing his hand and dragging him onto the bed with her, prompting him to remove his shorts so she could winder herself around him, the light sheet draped easily over them. Ben rolled onto his side so he was facing her, the two of them resting their heads on his long arm as he ran the fingers of his other hand through her chestnut hair. She looked up at him for a moment and bumped their noses together, whispering softly.

“Have you been crying?” Ben’s lips quirked up briefly, humming softly before replying equally as soft.

“Bad dream, don’t even remember it now – I’m okay” Rey’s eyes searched his for a moment and she nodded, wrapping her arm around his firm torso and relaxing against him.

“Go to sleep, I want us to be well rested for the Festival of Stars tomorrow” Ben tightened his hold on her, pressing their foreheads together and running his hand down her back as he felt her melt into him.

“It’s your favourite holiday, we won’t miss it I promise” Rey hummed, already drifting back asleep as she murmured back gently.

“I love you Ben” he quickly – yet gently – cradled the back of her head, pressing his lips firmly between her eyes and slamming his eyes shut against his new wave of tears.

“I love you too” he rested his chin on her head as she drifted off, praying that the voices would leave him alone for just a few more days.

_Monsters can’t love boy. Do not fool yourself._

* * *

“Here, try this” Rey looked at the luminescent cake in her husband’s hand warily.

“Um, I don’t think so” Ben rolled his eyes, grinning wildly at her.

“ _Try it._ It’s traditional here, I promise you’ll like it” Rey bared her teeth in disgust and shook her head rapidly.

“No way! Ben it’s _glowing”_ Ben pinched her hip and shoved the small pastry at her again. Rey sighed heavily and cocked her head to the side, watching as he ripped a piece off and shoved it into his mouth, moaning comically as she laughed. Rey finally sighed, bumping her hips against his as he rested one hand on her lower back, pulling her against his chest. Rey pulled a small bite of the cake, popping it into her mouth as Ben laughed excitedly.

“Oh my god, this is delicious!” Ben beamed, ripping off another piece and popping it into her mouth as Rey giggled and pressed herself up against Ben’s side, feeling him to wrap an arm around her shoulder as they walked. Rey grabbed his wrist, leading him through the booths and vendors, excitedly.

"Come on, I want to see the sand art competition!”

* * *

“Oh, that’s lovely” Ben glanced over his shoulder at the tug on his hand, seeing Rey stop at a jewellery vendor with wonder filled eyes. The old jeweller smiled at her with wrinkled eyes and lifted the small necklace from its place.

“It’s Harterran Moonstone with Kyber Crystal infused. For those with Force sensitivity the Crystal will glow to match your spiritual alignment” Rey watched in wonder as the woman placed it against her palm, the tiny crystals immediately lighting purple sparkles. Rey let out a breathless laugh and Ben came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. The woman grinned and extended it to her.

“You are Force-Sensitive?” Rey nodded, glancing over at him and smiling as her husband kissed the side of her head. The vendor grabbed her hand, placing it palm up and setting the pendant in her hand. Rey let out another laugh as the crystals changed, turning a beautiful blue and sparkling like stars in the creamy stone.

“Ah blue, for bravery – and you good sir? Will you try?” Rey nodded excitedly and Ben felt his heart stop. He didn’t want to see what colour his Kyber would be, he already knew.

_It shall be a glorious Red, like your grandfather and the ancients who came before._

He shook his head and looked at her playfully.

“I already know what colour mine is” the woman glared at him and nodded, eyes suspicious. Rey quirked an eyebrow, looking at him inquisitively. Ben nodded, perhaps too erratically as he tickled her hips lightly.

“It’s green, like my mom’s” Rey smiled, kissing him lightly and handing it back to the vendor.

“Thank you, it’s-“

“How much? For the necklace?” Rey stared at her husband as he looked at the woman with single minded determination. The woman grinned and looked at him with wise eyes.

“You are getting married?” Rey stuck out her left hand playfully, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she grinned brightly.

“We are married! On our honeymoon actually!” The woman laughed happily and Rey leaned back to kiss him gently.

“Take it, it’s a gift” the couple immediately grabbed at her in argument and she shook her head, placing it firmly in her palm.

“For your happiness” Rey smiled brightly, reaching over to hug the woman as Ben tenderly fastened the chain around her neck, careful to avoid the actual pendant with his hands. Rey turned to him, lacing their fingers together as they walked down the festival. Rey looked at him and smiled, tugging him back.

“What?”

“You do know that this necklace was a _thousand_ credits right?” Ben shrugged and she grabbed their hands, pressing up against him and resting her chin on his chest to look up at him, smiling gently.

“But you wanted it? So why not” Rey laughed, reaching up and kissing him soundly in the middle of the street.

“You are the sweetest man I’ve ever met Mr. Solo” Ben kissed her forehead and smiled into her hair.

“Anything for you, Mrs. Solo” they kissed softly a few more times before something over Rey’s shoulder caught his eyes.

"Oh yes! Sweetheart look!" Rey looked at him with confused eyes as Ben pointed at the poster for the fireworks display.

"We should go!" he watched her quirk an eyebrow.

"Excellent, and I think I know the perfect place to watch” Rey bit her lip and looked at him excitedly.

“I can’t wait”

* * *

"Okay this is it!" Rey looked at Ben in excitement and he threw the blanket down and plopped onto it, kicking off his shoes and yanking her down, catching his wife by surprise and causing her to fall quite unceremoniously on top of her. The two let out barks of laughter and she kissed his cheek, giggling as he pivoted her so she was between his legs on the blanket, back against his chest as they sat on the hill, they were far enough away that the crowds weren’t near, and soon they’d be completely alone.

Rey looked up at him with sparkling eyes.

“I’ve never seen fireworks you know” Ben gaped at her in shock.

"What?!" Rey looked over at him, blushing.

"We never had them on Jakku, and you and I have never been to a festival with fireworks, we usually end up leaving beforehand” Ben's smile could have lit up the whole park as he squeezed her playfully.

"So you mean to tell me, my favourite celebration activity in the whole damn world is completely foreign to you?" Rey nodded in excitement and cupped his cheek.

"That’s exactly what I’m saying" Ben cackled in delight, tugging her back against him as the music started.

“Don’t let me take you away from this – don’t miss a moment” Rey laced their fingers together on her stomach, smiling as he rubbed his nose through the little hairs on her temple. She felt him humming along with the music in his chest as the first few sets went off.

"Oh Ben, they’re amazing" Rey watched the sky intently, huge smile gracing her features.

"Isn't it beautiful?"

"It’s breathtaking" Ben smiled and looked over at her.

"I’m so glad you like them" she leaned up and kissed him gently

"This has been an amazing honeymoon. How are we ever supposed to go back, this is perfect” Ben’s eyebrow quirked and a smile tugged at his lips

"I agree, there's only one thing missing"

"Oh? And what could that be?" Ben laid back on the blanket at her challenging tone, sliding her to his side so he could lean over to kiss her deeply. The booming of the fireworks slipped away and suddenly it was just the two of them.

"I'll give you a hint, it involves you, me, this blanket, and no clothes" Rey smirked as Ben slowly slid his hands up her shirt, her sliding shut and tilting her head back

"Oh, it that so?"

"Mmhmm" Ben bit his lip as Rey began to press open mouthed kisses along his neck and chest.

"Well, I mean, you always have good ideas" Ben laughed breathlessly as Rey rolled on top of him, capturing her husband's lips.

* * *

Ben dragged himself out of bed again, already missing the warmth of his wife’s body next to his as he silently padded over to their bags, reaching in and pulling out the moonstone necklace. He was shaking as he held the chain in his hands.

“Please, _please”_ he placed in in his palm and watched as the Kyber pieces began to slowly glow white. He let out a wet laugh and nodded.

“Okay, white, we can work with-“ he slammed his hand over his mouth as his eyes filled with horrified tears.

“No, _no_ ” the crystals glared back at him, an angry red looking like specs of blood against the beautiful white stone. An evil voice cackled in his head.

_Like you expected anything less._

He wiped his eyes angrily, tucking it away and muffling the sob in his hand, praying his wife didn’t wake up.

He was evil.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Hapan were known as being super beautiful, so I kind of took a more Siren-like approach to them in the story just for fun. I hope that's okay!!

“Oh look at you! So sparkly!” BB-8 chirped excitedly, whirring around Rey’s legs as she dropped her bag, running her hands over the little droid.

“And they buffed out all your scratches, stars you look brand new – Ben doesn’t he look fantastic?!” Ben rolled his eyes in fond exasperation, patting the droid on the head.

“Ya look great pal, everybody have everything?” Rey picked up her bag and nodded, smiling as Ben paid for BB-8’s stay and walked back over to grab her hand.

“I won’t lie, I’m going to miss it here. Chandrila is so beautiful” Ben smiled softly and squeezed her hand, swinging it lightly between them.

“Who knows, maybe we’ll get a place here someday?” Rey’s smile broke out like the sun and she squeezed his hand tightly.

“I’d love that! We definitely should.” He slapped her rear-end as they climbed into the Falcon, the two popping into their seats as Ben pulled her into orbit. Rey propped her feet up on the consul, looking at him with playful eyes as he entered the coordinates. They blasted into the stars and she closed her eyes in relaxation for a moment before gazing out at the stars.

“As much as I love Chandrila, and New Alderaan. I still think my favourite place in the galaxy is right here” she patted the seat and Ben pinched her side playfully.

“S’because you belong there” Rey laughed happily and the two began chatting idly, BB-8 chiming in occasionally as they headed home.

* * *

“Welcome home!” Rey let out an ecstatic laugh as Finn and Poe both ran at them excitedly, Finn picking her up and spinning her around as Poe clapped Ben’s hand.

“How was it – _wow_ that’s some fine bling Mrs. Solo” Ben smirked, he’d been very proud of the ring he’d had hand crafted, he looked over to watch her show it off like she usually did-

Only to realize they weren’t talking about her wedding ring.

The Kyber Crystals in her pendant shone a lovely green in the palm of Finn’s hand his eyes going wide as she giggled.

“You have the same Kyber as Ben and Leia – Ben do you see this!?” Ben smiled softly and nodded, going quiet.

“Yeah sweetheart, I see it” Ben turned his attention back to Poe and the updates on potential jobs as they walked toward the palace.

Rey and Finn slowly caught up to them, Rey taking Ben’s hand in hers and swinging it playfully as she talked with Finn about their honeymoon. She looked up at him, catching his husband’s eye and grinning, he rolled his eyes, snickering as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tucking her into his side as they got into the palace.

* * *

“Ah, home sweet home” Rey laughed as Ben flopped back onto the bed, arms out at his sides as his legs hung over the side. Rey grinned and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips and propping her arms on his chest, looking down at him and smiling brightly.

“Poe mentioned a job on Hapes, we could probably be set to go by Thursday?” Rey nodded, kissing him again and pulling back.

”That could be fun, never been there before” Ben smiled and wrapped his arms around her, murmuring softly.

“So I was thinking-“

“Sounds dangerous” Ben rolled his eyes and pinched her hip as she cackled, rolling them over to pin her beneath him. He tickled her mercilessly for a few minutes before pulling back to pinch her cheek.

“You done being sassy?” Rey shook her head.

“Never, now tell me what you’ve been thinking about” Ben smirked and looked down at her with bright eyes.

“I was thinking, we could get our own place” Rey grinned, propping herself up on her elbows and looking at him excitedly.

“Like instead of our wing here, go out and get out own home?” Ben nodded.

“Doesn’t need to be anything fancy, I just thought something out in the country might be nice, maybe by the beach. Where we aren’t surrounded by delegates all the time” Rey beamed, wrapping her arms around his neck and nodding.

“Why don’t we start looking around after we get back from Hapes? Who knows, maybe we could even build our own place – we’ve got enough saved up” Ben nodded, smiling at her lovingly.

“Sounds good sweetheart. M’all in” Rey kissed him passionately, enjoying their brief moment of quiet before having to rush out to attend to different delegates.

* * *

“I love it!” Ben grinned as the two of them looked at the large home, it was beautiful, with large windows overlooking a crystal clear pond. It was quiet, slightly off the road so the closest neighbours were quite the walk away. Ben laughed as Rey ragged him up the stairs.

“We could use this room for our work, keep weapons and cash in here! And this could be a _library_!” Ben grinned, kissing the side of her head as they stood in the empty bedroom. Rey looked across the hall at the other bedroom and bit her lip, leaning against his chest and pointing.

“And maybe _that_ room…?” she didn’t need to vocalize it, Ben knew exactly what she was going to say.

“It’s perfect for a nursery sweetheart, I agree, but I think I’d like at least a year with just my hot wife and a great job” Rey grinned as he lifted her into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as she kissed him playfully, running her hands through his raven locks.

“Our first home, we’ve got enough savings, let’s buy all new things. Really make it ours” he nodded and set the petite brunette down. She rushed off through the house and Ben glanced around the bedroom again, content smile on his face as she called out from the next room.

“Ben, did you see the bathroom?!” he went to follow her and suddenly stopped at the blitz of pain behind his eyes.

_Do you really think you can ignore what you are boy?_

Ben shook his head, letting out a low growl as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“You’re not real”

_Don’t be foolish boy_

“Ben! Come see the bathroom! You’re gunna love the water pressure!” Ben pinched the bridge of his nose, ignoring the modulated voice in his head as he walked to the bathroom.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, hold your horses!”

* * *

Ben swayed as he climbed up the ramp into the Falcon, Poe glancing at him in concern as Rey finished loading their supplies. Poe was accompanying them on the Hapes run and they would be dropping him off on Kijimi for some spice running work. Poe grabbed the tall man’s shoulder and looked at him.

“You alright man?” Ben nodded, tossing a half smile and praying he didn’t throw up all over Poe’s shoes.

“Yeah, just a headache, might be coming down with something” Poe lurched away from him, ever the germophobe as he eyed him warily.

“Like Balmorra Flu? Cuz I can’t afford to be sick right now man” Ben rolled his eyes, heading to the cockpit where Rey was already in the co-pilot’s seat.

“Scooch over gorgeous” Rey quirked an eyebrow and cocked her head in confusion.

“You said I wasn’t allowed to fly anymore remember? Because I took us to Csiss” Ben nodded sagely but slapped the pilot’s seat.

“Absolutely, you’re a damn menace with directions – luckily for you, your wonderful husband has put in the coordinates already, so all you gotta do is take her out and get her on course” Rey smirked at him, hopping up to pop into the pilot’s seat excitedly.

“Well if you insist – Poe! Are you in and secured?!” Ben flinched at the yell and flopped into the co-pilot’s seat, hoping his face looked relaxed as he warred against the voices in his head.

_A new order will begin child. And you shall be seated at its right hand. Stop this foolishness and do what you know is your destiny._

Ben snapped his eyes open to see Rey looking at him in amused concern.

“You alright darling?” he gave a half-smile and winked at her.

“Yeah sweetheart, just gotta headache from Poe’s banging”

“Hey now! I just fixed your Hyper-Drive _again_ have a little respect!” Ben snorted as Rey laughed brightly, waiting until Poe was seated in the navigation seat before taking her up.

“For you Dameron, never”

* * *

“Welcome _gentlemen_ to Hapes! I hope you’ll enjoy _every_ moment of your stay, allow us to show you to your quarters” Rey was already unimpressed as the Hapan women batted their stunning eyes at Ben and Poe. Poe had immediately fallen for the charm of the women. Ben definitely had a flush in his cheeks, but he was rigid against his wife and Rey knew better than to be jealous. She pushed herself to the front of the group and pointedly extended her hand.

“Hello _ladies_ , Rey Solo. We’ll be staying on our ship – however we thank you for your hospitality” the Hapan woman gave her a dirty look and Poe’s shoulders dropped.

“Rey come _on,_ look at this place! Let’s stay in the hotel” Ben snorted and Rey locked eyes with her friend.

“It’s not a hotel Poe, it’s a _brothel_ ” Poe’s eyes went wide and one of the girls giggled as she stroked his hair. The woman who had become apparent as the leader gave a condescending smile and looked to the group.

“Let’s at least enjoy a nice dinner together, the girls have made special dishes just for you _gentlemen”_ Rey rolled her eyes as Poe blindly followed the woman inside. Ben caught her look and laced their fingers together, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

“If Poe and I get drugged, promise me you’ll sacrifice him and take me home” Rey smirked and winked at him, squeezing his hand.

“You make it sound like I didn’t already plan to sacrifice Poe” Ben barked out a surprised laugh, ignoring the stabbing pain in his head as they walked further into the venue.

“M’so glad I married you.”

* * *

Rey had figured out very quickly that she was not getting the same wine as Poe and Ben, and honestly she wasn’t entirely sure she was mad about it.

So far, Poe had confessed his love to no fewer than five of the women, all of whom were looking at him like predators eying prey. She was sure that he’d probably spend the night with at least one of them, and while she herself had never had a desire for working in the “pleasure trade” she would have to make sure whoever kept Poe Dameron company tonight got her due fees.

Ben on the other hand. She was taking Ben back to the Falcon.

Their sex was always fun, filled with cheeky remarks and laughter. With the exception of their wedding night and the first night of their honeymoon, which had been softer. However the Zeltron spiced wine they’d offered to the two men had put her husband in a _different_ kind of mood.

Which symptoms were currently including but limited to lavishing kisses on her neck, squeezing her thigh and whispering absolutely _filthy_ things into her ear. He reclined back on the satin cushions, his long body stretched out while she sat cross-legged, trying desperately to control herself. She finally turned to him, allowing him to pull her into exactly _one_ heated kiss before pulling away with her own frustrated groan, running a hand through his hair.

“Ben” Ben began kissing up her arm, humming noncommittally as he squeezed her inner thigh again. She bit her lip against the sensation and tugged his hair gently to get him at eye-level, relishing in the groan he released.

“Darling, I believe you’ve been drugged” Ben blinked up at her drunkenly and beamed.

“Really?” Rey giggled as his eyes went wide before furrowing in concern. She watched as he clumsily grabbed for Poe, shaking him away from the woman he was flirting with.

“ _Poe,_ Rey says we’ve been _drugged_ ” Poe swatted him away drunkenly before turning to him.

“I don’t have time for your conspiracy theories Solo, have you _seen_ this woman. What’s your name beautiful?” Ben quirked an eyebrow, looking at the woman who tittered musically as she stroked Poe’s hair.

“My name is Taryna” Poe gasped up at her with hazy eyes.

“ _Taryna_ , look at her Ben, isn’t she a _goddess_!?” Rey barked out a laugh at the drunken ramblings, watching as her husband stuck out a hand.

“No, nononono. Sorry ma’am, I’ve only seen _one_ goddess-“ he raised his index finger for emphasis, focusing on it with furrowed brows.

“Just one. And that’s _her_ ” he swept his hand across the crowd to point directly at Rey, the other Hapan women all cooing in delight as he scrambled back over to her, grabbing at her face in a surprisingly gentle hold.

“I mean, _look at her Poe_. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful – remember she’s _my_ wife” Poe cackled and Rey laughed softly, covering his hands with her own.

“You’re so drunk” Ben gazed at her in sheer adoration and shook his head lightly.

“Oh definitely, but not drunk enough to lie – who here wants me to tell them how much I _adore_ Rey Solo?!” the Hapans all yelled and Rey felt herself flush in embarrassment, covering her face in her hands yet unwilling to stop her husband from humiliating himself.

She’d also be lying if she didn’t want to hear what he had to say.

Ben sent her a Cheshire grin and turned back to the crowd, taking another deep swig of his wine – which was immediately topped up.

“She’s beautiful, her hair is always _so soft_ and it always smells so good” Poe slapped him, nodding in agreement.

“I noticed that too! When we were working on the Power Core that time!” Ben nodded absently, waving him off before continuing.

“She’s so _smart._ She can build anything out of anything, and she can get herself out of any mess, seriously we were on Csiss a few months ago yikes. And she’s so funny, I have never laughed as much as I do when I’m with her” Rey felt her smile begin to soften. For how affectionate and protective Ben was with her, he’d always kept it playful. But right now, he was being brutally honest, no thinly veiled humour, no witty remarks. He was doting on her, loudly, and to anyone who would listen.

“… And her smile just lights up the _room._ My family calls her sunshine, because her name’s Rey, but she’s like the sun too! Always so bright and beautiful and warm” he flopped back, head landing in her lap while everyone around them swooned, the fire casting a warm glow on his features as he looked up at her with glazed eyes.

“But it’s her eyes…” he just stared at her for a few seconds, and as Rey stroked his hair she was convinced there were a few tears waiting to be released from his honey brown orbs.

“There are galaxies in her eyes” he snatched one of her hands in his, kissing it as he looked at her. Rey stopped listening to Poe’s boisterous responses and the Hapan women’s tinkling voices. Caught in the magnetic gaze of her love as he stared at her, pressing their joined hands over his heart.

“She's the reason my heart beats” Rey’s own eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t have the chance to return the sentiment as he surged up and pinned her with a heated kiss, cradling her jaw in one hand.

“Rey…” she pressed her forehead to his and smiled.

“Yes Ben?”

“I think Poe and I were drugged” Rey let out a surprised snort and nodded, running her hand through his hair and kissing between his eyes.

“Shall I sacrifice Poe and take you to bed?” Ben nodded emphatically and she helped him to his feet, bidding everyone adieu as she led him back towards the spaceport.

* * *

By the time she got him to the ramp it was game over for Rey, her husband’s arousal pressing against her lower back, lips attached to her neck and the moment he’d realized they were alone his hands had slid under her top and chest band, caressing her breasts in a taunting manner.

“ _Kriff_ Ben, just let me get the hatch o-open” he growled against her ear and she slammed the code in, pressing back against the hardness behind her. She dragged him through the ship, leading him to the bedroom without even a thought about whether or not Poe would actually be alright as she finally found the door to their bunk.

Ben spun her around quickly as they entered their bunk, pinning her against the door as took her face in his hands almost roughly, pressing their lips together in an almost desperate manner. Rey could feel his erection pressing into her stomach through their clothes. Her arms went around his neck and held tightly, wrapping her legs around his hips for leverage as she ground against him. Her husband letting out a low rumble in his chest as he thrusted gently against her, pressing her more firmly into the wall.

Rey could feel herself getting wet as they undulated against one another, Ben’s hand making its way back up her shirt to her breasts, squeezing almost painfully and rolling the nipple between his fingers. The pleasure-pain was sharp in her mind and she gasped, head thunking back against the metal wall as she let out a long moan.

“Yes, Ben more” Ben responded, never one to keep his wife waiting as her shirt was shoved up and his hand was replaced with his mouth. Rey’s eyes rolled back in her head and she let out a cry, pressing her chest up against his mouth and plunging a hand into his hair.

Ben realized he was being rougher than usual and was slightly worried that he would hurt or scare her, but the loud moan he drew out of her with his teeth on her nipple quelled his worries soon enough, and he turned to throw her onto the bed, squeezing her inner thigh in the way he _knew_ she liked, causing her to whimper against his lips.

“Tell me what you want sweetheart” Ben’s eyes nearly rolled out of his skull when he felt Rey's hand make its way into his pants, squeezing his cock and pumping him firmly and with obvious pleasure. His mouth found its way back up along her neck and to her mouth, pressing his tongue against hers enthusiastically, feeling her smile into the kiss, making him smile as well.

“Fuck me, _please_ Ben just _fuck_ me” his hips stuttered involuntarily as he moved his hand into the front of her pants, and she bucked against him when he slipped his fingers into her panties and brushed gently against her with his knuckles. He pressed one finger against her clit, gently swirling his finger they way he knew drove her wild and she let out a choked cry, countering his own attack by rubbing her thumb over the slit of his cock, causing him to start panting.

“Fucking _Hell_ Rey, too many _fucking_ clothes!” the two parted briefly to strip themselves bare before colliding together once more, Ben’s hand cradling the back of her head as he eased her into the pillows before sliding his fingers back down to her center. He kissed her deeply as he slipped a finger into her, relishing in the feel of her shivering against and around him. Just the thought made him even harder, if it were possible.

“Fuck… Ben, now” she whimpered as he withdrew his fingers from her and pressed his cock against her, reveling in the tantalizing feeling of her body against his.

“Yeah, kriff, c’mere. That’s my girl” Ben hiked her leg up higher on his waist, placing her other knee in the crook of his elbow as he aligned himself with her opening.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty sweetheart. Just for me” Rey flung her head back, dreamy smile crossing her face as Ben was suddenly _everywhere._ She hummed as he seated himself in her fully, the two of them taking a moment to adjust as they kissed languidly. Rey pulled back, dragging his lower lip between her teeth as she pulled away.

“Just for you, give it to me darling. I need to feel you” Ben moaned and slapped his hips up, soon it became the only sound in the room, with the exception of their passionate gasps and desperate moans.


	3. Chapter 3

“He lives!” Poe flinched violently as he stumbled into the common area of the ship. Rey was standing in the kitchenette, clad in a pair of black underwear and Ben’s black Henley. Poe groaned and fell into the couch, making grabby hands at the pot of coffee as she poured him a cup.

“I feel like I’m dead” Rey snorted and leaned a hip against the counter, looking at her friend with gleeful eyes.

“So, how was your night?” she sing-songed and Poe dropped his head back against the couch.

“From what I remember, it was _amazing_ ” Rey cackled and slid into the corner couch across from him, holding her mug on the table as he looked at her in confusion.

“Did I call you a goddess last night?” she shook her head and gestured back to the bunks.

“No, you proposed marriage to three women and attempted a striptease on the table – you stepped in my Banja Cake, Ben told everyone I was a goddess” Poe groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, sipping his coffee before smirking at her.

“Ah yes, prince charming, and how is he doing this morning?” Rey hid her grin behind her cup and chuckled.

“Likely a little sore like you are-“ she was cut off by the sound of the bunk door sliding open and Ben shuffling out, cradling his head and swearing as he stubbed his toe. She turned with a chipper voice and slapped his hip as he walked by.

“Morning darling! There’s coffee ready” Ben mumbled incoherently and leaned down to clumsily kiss her head, nodding in empathy to Poe who had completely given up holding his head, only to gasp and let out a wolf whistle as Ben turned his back to the table.

“So Rey, how are _you_ feeling this morning?” Poe had a shit eating grin on his face and Rey turned back to her husband, only for her face to flush in humiliated terror. Ben’s sleep pants hung low on his hips, shirtless as he poured his coffee.

Giving everyone a full view of the scratch marks all across his back.

Rey immediately buried her face in her hands as Ben turned back, swallowing his first few sips of coffee and joining the land of the living as Poe howled.

* * *

“M’glad they didn’t decide to secretly kill Poe – don’t tell him I said that though” Rey smirked as her husband lounged in the co-pilot’s seat, Poe’s snores echoing from the bunk room.

“Won’t breathe a word” Ben rolled his head to the side and looked at her, watching as she flew the Falcon seamlessly through the asteroid field. They flew in silence for several minute before Rey finally sighed and looked at him pointedly.

“What’s wrong?” Ben looked away guiltily and shook his head.

“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, why would you think something’s wrong?” Rey sighed heavily and looked at him.

“Last night you told me I have galaxies in my eyes” Ben shrugged noncommittally, fiddling with his wedding ring.

“So? I love your eyes, you know I love your eyes” Rey smiled softly, shaking her head in exasperation as she leaned over to grab his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“I know you do, but I _also_ know it is a line from a poem about a man who is grieving the loss of the woman he loves” Ben swallowed thickly, looking out the view screen as Rey eased them out of the asteroid field, placing the Falcon back on cruise and turning to him.

“What’s going on Ben, tell me” Ben swallowed the anguish back as Rey looked at him pleadingly.

“I’m just tired sweetheart, and I’m a little worried about all this talk of the Empire coming back” Rey looked at him in concern and squeezed his hand.

“Do you think there could be another war?” He tugged her out of her seat, squishing her into his lap and holding her to his chest as he buried his face in her hair, relishing in the silence it brought his mind.

“I don’t think so, but we’ll stay away from the Outer Rim for a while” Rey nodded, relaxing against his chest and watching the stars shoot by.

But Ben was holding on just a little too tight, and his breaths were just a little too even.

Something had him scared, she just didn’t know what it was.

* * *

It was late by the time they arrived on Kijimi, Poe waving goodbye as his running partner Zorii picked him up in her own small ship. The two had decided to put the Falcon in orbit, spending the night just outside of Kijimi space before heading home in the morning.

Rey was exhausted, out almost as soon as her head hit the pillow, pulling Ben’s arm around her and lacing their fingers together over her chest like she always did, feeling him run his nose through her hair and kiss the base of her skull.

“Night sweetheart” she squeezed his hand lethargically, murmuring out a reply as she fell under into the comforting arms of an exhausted sleep.

* * *

_“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it” Ben gazes into his wife’s eyes, terror filling her own brown orbs as she cups his face tenderly. There are sparks and yelling and blaster fire, but it all fades as the two of them stand on the catwalk together. Rey gives him a wet smile and nods, tears of relief falling from her face as she steps closer to him._

_“Of course, anything” He gives her a wobbly smile, saber hilt in his hand as he pulls her against his chest. He turns his lips to press against her ear, breathing shakily._

_“Thank you sweetheart” with that, he activates the saber, running the petite woman clean through as his father, Chewie and Poe scream from an upper deck. Rey stumbles back, looking up at her husband with devastated eyes as he retracts the weapon, looking at her coldly as she falls to the catwalk, gripping the side desperately._

_“B-Ben…” with that, the life leaves her doe eyes and she falls into the abyss below._

_Behind him, Ben can hear the sound of his grandfather laughing joyfully._

_“Well done, my boy”_

* * *

“ _No!”_ Rey jumped out of bed as her husband let out a feral scream, she spun around in bed and grabbed at his chest, eyes going wide as she took him in.

He was pale and covered in sweat, chest heaving and head tossing as he sobbed uncontrollably, gripping the sheets so tightly she feared he’d rip them.

“Ben! Ben wake up, come one darling wake up for me!” she stroked his cheek, brushing the sweat-drenched hair from his forehead as he let out another anguished wail.

She couldn’t believe he hadn’t woken _himself_ up, weeping like that. Her eyes filled with tears at the pain he was so clearly in and she kissed his forehead.

“Hang on, hang on I’ll be right back!” she leapt from the bed, absence unnoticed in the wake of the terror of his subconscious as she grabbed one of their water canteens, straddling his hips and biting her lips nervously as she tried to keep him still.

“Ben wake up!” she dumped the cold water onto his face and neck, allowing a small amount to land on his chest and drenching the bed beneath his as he started, flinging forward and gasping for air. Rey expected the lurch though, allowing her body to move with his as she threw her arms around his neck, cradling his head in one hand as she felt one arm seal around her waist, his other flinging out in front of him and she jumped as the door to their bunk blew off its hinges, landing in the hallway with a loud crash.

“S’okay, it’s okay it’s just me. It’s Rey, it was just a bad dream. Shh” she guided his face into the crook of her neck, running her hand through his wet hair as she felt him grab fistfuls of his shirt that she’d worn to bed.

He let out a ragged sob against her shoulder and she kissed the top of his head softly as he clung to her. He suddenly pulled away, looking at her with devastated eyes and running his hands over her body, lifting the shirt and inspecting her torso.

Checking her for injuries.

Her heart simultaneously shattered and swelled when she realized his nightmare had been about her getting hurt, and she leaned back slightly to frame his face in her small hands.

“We’re okay, I’m okay. It was just a bad dream” she stroked his cheek and smiled reassuringly at him, kissing his forehead and guiding him back against her as he began crying again.

“M’sorry, I’m so sorry” she looked out the window at the stars, swallowing her own grief at the helplessness in her husband’s voice as his body wracked with sobs.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s just a bad dream. We’re okay, we’re okay”

But Rey wasn’t entirely sure she believed that anymore.

* * *

When the couple stepped off the Falcon, Rey and Ben weren’t greeted with the usual excited welcomes.

Leia looked terrified, Luke looked furious and Han appeared ready to burst into tears. Finn, BB-8 and Chewie nowhere to be seen. Rey remembered the thinly veiled panic in Han’s voice over the communicator, ordering them back to New Alderaan. She’d only just managed to get Ben calmed down when Han had radioed, his words ringing in her head.

_Fucking light speed skip if you have to kid just get home!_

She remembered with clarity how he’d immediately thrown the Falcon out of orbit, hitting light-speed to get them back to New Alderaan as soon as possible, still dressed in his sleep pants with wild eyes and covered in water, sweat and tears, chest heaving as he tried desperately to stay in control.

But mostly, Rey remembered her husband’s incoherent babbling as he rushed out the horror he’d been trapped in, how she’d been so coldly murdered as his hand.

And how it had been celebrated.

He’d locked her in Chewie’s bunk after that, telling her to set it on lockdown and keep her blaster with her until they got back.

It had been the longest seven hours of her life.

Ben looked impossibly small for his stature and Rey squeezed his hand, urging him to look at her as she smiled at him.

“We’ll figure it out, whatever it is” he flashed her a weak smile, walking hesitantly to his parents with big wet eyes. Han pulled the boy into a hug and reached for Rey, Leia grabbing at them desperately.

“Oh thank the Stars you’re alright! Come now quickly, we need to get to the War Room!” Ben pulled back, looking at his mother in concern as Rey grabbed the back of his shirt.

Something was very, _very_ wrong. Worse than Ben’s nightmare.

The family rushed towards the palace and Rey began to hear the panicked screams, Ben wrapped an arm around her, pulling her out of his father’s arms and into his side. His own horrors from earlier forgotten as they rushed into the room.

Delegates were running through the room, some clothed and some in their sleepwear, many were shouting and some were crying. Warnings and alarms were going off as they rushed around the room. Mon Mothma rushed up to them, tears in her eyes as she gripped Leia tightly.

“Pandor, Leia it’s _gone_!”

* * *

Rey felt her knees buckle as she watched the beautiful, purple planet on the screen was engulfed in flames. She clapped a hand over her mouth in anguish as Ben stared slack-jawed at the devastation unfolding around them.

Rey fleetingly remembered that Ben had proposed to her on Pandor, they’d stayed an extra day after their job because Rey had wanted to spend one more day by the iridescent ocean. They’d been walking on the beach in the middle of the afternoon, looking for a good spot to sit when he’d just dropped to one knee. No fanfare, no big romantic gesture, just Ben and Rey. Like it was supposed to be.

The core of the planet finally imploded, collapsing in on itself with a hollow sound that caused another ripple of anguish to rush through the crowd. Rey caught the Senator from Pandor in the corner of her eye as she fainted, causing Rey to turn and hide from the reality in Ben’s chest. He immediately held her to him, snapping out of his own stupor as he murmured words of comfort into her hair, eyes staring at the scene unfolding. Mon Mothma murmured to Leia in a devastated tone.

“Leia, they were Empire ships.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning*
> 
> Please be advised that this chapter deals with elements of mass destruction, shock and mild aspects of blood and gore.
> 
> Please proceed with caution!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Trigger Warning*
> 
> Please be advised that this chapter deals with elements of mass destruction, shock and mild aspects of blood and gore.
> 
> Please proceed with caution!!!

“Evac teams are ready and waiting to go!” Finn ran passed her towards a larger shuttle, his friend Rose Tico tailing him. Rey was standing next to Leia, trying to figure out where she fit in the chaos when Ben suddenly rushed past her.

In the minutes following the explosion, the New Republic had begun setting up their rescue mission, Rey going over the specs of the different ships and helping to set up the rescue. Which ships would provide protection detail and which ships would be collecting refugees and survivors.

It was easier to focus on the specs and the logistics than it was to understand that an entire planet – an entire _people_ – were gone. She looked through the chaos and felt her heart stop as she watched Ben rushing towards the door.

Unlike his wife, who was still clad in his shirt and a pair of black leggings, Ben was dressed in full tactical pants, black boots and a thick black tunic. Rey’s brow furrowed as she realized what he was wearing.

Protective gear.

“Ben!” He turned to her, eyes going wide as he rushed towards her. The two met in the middle of the chaos, Rey grabbing his hands and looking at him desperately.

“Hey, there you are-“

“You’re going out there?!” Ben nodded, swallowing thickly.

“The Falcon can carry dozens of refugees, we’re heading out and Poe and Zorii are going to meet us there as detail” Rey nodded, tapping his chest and turning to grab her stuff.

“Just let me grab my blaster and I’ll meet you-“ Ben grabbed her wrist, pulling her back as he shook his head.

“No, no, no you stay here, run the ground team with mom” Rey turned to him in fury.

“Absolutely not, I will not be sidelined while you run off into Hell by yourself!” Ben looked at her giving her a shake.

“I need you here-“

“I can handle it-“

“And I _can’t_ ” Ben jerked himself back as he yelled, never one to raise his voice at her as she looked at him with wide eyes.

“Ben…” Ben blinked back tears and clung to her hands.

“We don’t know what’s waiting for us there. And we’re not even remotely prepared if there’s an attack waiting for us. I know you can handle yourself, but I can’t – I can’t focus on everything else with you sitting right next to me because all I’ll thinking about is getting you the Hell outta there. Please, just this once, until we figure out what’s going on” Rey looked at him hard for a few seconds before her shoulders finally fell.

“Okay, _just_ this once. When you get back, we get ready for this – _whatever_ this is and we stay together alright?” Ben nodded, pulling her to him and pressing his lips to the crown of her head, breathing a thank you into her skin before he released her.

“I’ll be back in a few hours, I promise” Rey nodded, blinking tears out of her own eyes as he stepped away.

“Stay in constant contact. And take BB-8 with you!” Ben bent his head down to look her in the eyes, winking at her.

“Do you two better” suddenly Han and Chewie burst past, Han tossing another blaster at Ben as he shrugged on his old leather jacket.

“Let’s go kid, Dameron’s already en route” Ben nodded, kissing her again and squeezing her hands.

“Keep a light on for me yeah?” Rey nodded, watching as he rushed out the door after the two older males, quickly falling in step with his dad as they took off. Leia came up behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder as she mumbled to her mother-in-law.

“I feel like he’s leaving me behind” Leia looked at her and smiled.

“The horror everyone on those ships are about to see Rey, it’s unspeakable. Don’t think of him leaving you behind, understand that he needs you here because you may be the only one to put his pieces back together after he gets back.” Rey swallowed thickly, looking over her shoulder to the screen where Pandora was collapsing.

“I can do that” Leia grinned, giving her arm a shake and turning her back to the chaos.

“Come on, we need blankets, a processing area and a triage area for when they get back” Rey nodded in determination, catching Luke’s piercing gaze out of the corner of her eye as she sprang into action.

* * *

The children were the worst, wide, shocked eyes staring up at her as they clung to the hands of anyone in the vicinity. After working four eight hour shifts in medical, Leia finally yanked her shaking daughter in law and took her into the library, where they were placing the young who hadn’t been able to locate their families yet.

In the beginning, Ben and Han had made constant contact, but as the hours dragged on it soon became nothing more than dispatches confirming they had arrived back at ground zero, and when they arrived with survivors.

Rey could hear his voice becoming more and more robotic. The horror she was seeing in the palace was unspeakable.

She couldn’t even imagine what he was seeing.

* * *

They were on hour forty when Leia came into the library, Rey had just finished getting the little ones to sleep, running her hand through the sparkling white hair of one of the children who had finally cried himself out. Rey looked up and saw the general looking at her with tearful eyes.

“They’re home” Rey slowly stepped over the children, nodding to BB-8 who stayed vigilant. She hit the door and closed it softly, looking at Leia.

“How are they!?” Leia gave her a watery smile and searched the young woman’s face.

“They’re in pain” Rey nodded, taking off down the hallway towards the War Room.

“Ben!?” she stopped in the doorway as she saw him. She knew she was a sight, hair falling out of her buns half-hazardly and her (Ben’s) shirt and leggings covered in a mixture of blood and tears. But the crew-

They were definitely worse.

Chewie had a firm hand on Han’s back, whose head was hung while he clasped his hands in front of him so hard his knuckles were white. Poe had silent tears streaming down his face as Zorii sobbed into her hands. Finn and Rose weren’t even there and Ben was sitting hunched in on himself, elbows on his knees and face in his pink-stained hands as he rocked back and forth. They were all covered in blood, dirt and Rey could smell the ash on them before she’d even fully entered the room.

“Ben?” his head jerked up at his name and Rey had a fleeting thought at how tired she was of seeing her husband cry as he looked at her with lifeless eyes. He stumbled to his feet, staggering towards her as she rushed at him, pulling him into her arms and kissing his temple as she cradled the back of his head. He gripped her hips like iron and she felt his chest stuttering as though he’d run out of cries but the pain was now a living thing.

“You’re home, I love you, I’m right here. Just tell me what you need” she felt the shaky breaths against his neck and she kissed his temple again.

“J-just _talk”_ Rey nodded, pressing her lips to his ear as she murmured random things to him, rubbing his back. She watched over his shoulder as Leia knelt in front of Han, unclasping his hands and rubbing them as she whispered to him softly.

“It’s really bad, it was so _bad_ ” her normally eloquent lover began chanting in her ear, breathing ragged again as she shushed him, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m so glad you weren’t there” Rey swallowed thickly, squeezing her eyes shut as she realized that she was too.

“Ben, baby where’s Rose and Finn? Are they alright?” Ben let out the closest sound to a sob, clearly still in shock.

“They’re cleaning the Falcon. It’s _so bad_ Rey” Rey nodded, pulling back just enough to force eye contact.

“I know, I know it was. Let’s go get you cleaned up alright?” Ben nodded, allowing her to slowly lead him towards their private wing, ignoring the wails behind her.

* * *

She managed to wrangle him into the shower, forcing some fruit and water into his system before the two lay on the bed just staring at one another. Ben stared down at their hands as he idly played with their fingers, legs tangled together.

He wasn’t holding her, but given the nightmare he’d had on top of his new trauma she wasn’t entirely surprised that he was keeping his distance. He finally swallowed thickly and looked at her.

“I’m gunna need a while before I’m able to get into the Falcon again” Rey nodded, wrapping her hand around his thumb to hold his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before letting him fidget with her again.

“Okay” Ben nodded, tears beginning to roll from his eyes as he stared at her wedding ring, Rey slowly reached forward with her other hand, telegraphing her movements as she gently ran a hand through his tresses. Ben let out a sob at the contact, eyes drifting shut as he pulled her hand to kiss her knuckles. He looked at her and swallowed thickly, and when he spoke again his voice was little more than a whisper as he suddenly sat up, leaning against the headboard and resting his head against it, looking at her as she sat up next to him.

"Did I ever tell you why my dad and Luke stopped speaking?" Rey wiped a tear from her husband's eye, heart shattering as it was immediately replaced by another. He was shaking, hands clasping his knees tightly as if it could hold him together.

"No, would you like to?" She cupped his cheek, smiling as reassuringly as she could even though she could feel her own throat closing up with emotion. He looked at her, and her heart broke again at the tiny, broken smile on his lips as he let out a tearfully unhappy laugh.

"It's because of me." Rey’s brows furrowed in soft confusion and she tilted her head to the side as he aggressively tapped the side of his head, causing her to snatch his hand in her own.

“I hear voices in my head – usually Vader’s, but I’ve heard Snoke too. It started when I was little, and my mom and Luke decided it would be best if I went and trained with him as a Padawan. But I didn’t want to go-“ he let out another ugly chuckle and Rey shuffled closer, leaning into his side.

“I wanted to be a pilot – like my dad. When I was eight, my mom and uncle said they’d leave it alone if I could prove that I was with the Light, all I had to do was pick up my lightsaber. I figured it would be easy, just take the training weapon, pop it on and away I go.” He turned to lock eyes with her, needing to see her face as he uttered the next sentence.

“My lightsaber is _red_ Rey, I bled the Kyber when I touched it. You should’ve seen the look of hatred on my uncle’s face when he saw it” he fell back against the headboard, closing his eyes as the tears tracked down.

“They decided that I had to go train with Luke, had to be _reverted_. My dad was away on a job and had to come home to take me to his temple. I threw _such_ a fit, I screamed and cried and Chewie had to drag me off the ship. Luke was talking about how much of a battle I would have to try to save myself – and that he wasn’t even sure I _could_ be saved. Finally, my dad decided he didn’t want to hear it anymore, that I didn’t need to hear what a lost cause I was and he took me over to go sit somewhere else. Stars, Rey I _begged_ him, ‘please dad, please don’t make me stay’ I was convinced if I stayed there I’d die. He just looked at me for a minute and he said, ‘Kid, ya gotta be honest with me now – do you _really_ think that if you stay here you’ll actually die?’ when I said yes he just nodded and told me to get my stuff and Chewie took me back into the ship. He tried to keep me distracted but I could hear the _yelling_ it seemed to go on forever. Mom stayed with Luke for almost a month, and when dad got back on the ship his knuckles were bloody and his lip was split, but he just winked at me and said I was going to get my first navigation lesson, that we were going on a run to Dagobah to get some herbs.”

Rey stared at him as he nodded to himself, shifting as she moved to loop her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I never wanted to be a Jedi, you can’t have friends – can’t fall in love, it wasn’t the life my dad wanted for me. So he made me a deal, I had to keep him updated on what was going on in my head, every nightmare, every headache. _Constant_ checking in – but in exchange, I got to stay with him, chart my own course. I stopped using the Force completely until I was twenty, because Chewie fell through a floor and I _had_ to stop it. I only use it when I _absolutely_ need to, because if I don’t tempt it maybe they’ll stay away.” He gave her a wet smile and Rey gazed up at him.

“And then I met you. And for _four_ years my brain has been _silent_. No bad dreams, no voices, no ugly thoughts. You made it all go away. Until our honeymoon and all the rumblings of the Empire-“ he cut himself off to point at her necklace.

“S’why I won’t touch it, I know it’s not green” Rey held the small pendant out before unclasping the necklace, resting her forehead against his jaw as she held it out to him.

“Show me?” Ben inhaled sharply, slowly holding out a shaking palm as she gently dropped it into his hand, watching the kyber go bright red. Ben clenched his eyes and turned away, but Rey held her hand under his, watching the kyber turn purple as their Force intertwined. She hummed a laugh and he looked down in shock.

“It’s purple” Rey smiled at the awe in her husband’s voice, gazing down at the flecks of violent.

“You can’t have light without a little bit of dark. But when you find the right balance, the world can be beautiful” she pulled back and looked at him, leaning up to kiss him softly.

“You’re no villain, I’m not afraid of you. As long as we’re together right? Just Ben and Rey” Ben gave the first real smile since before Pandor and nodded, kissing the top of her head and pulling her tightly against him.

“Just Rey and Ben”.

Rey couldn’t fix the heartbreak within the Solo family, or the destruction of Pandor, but she could fix Ben’s broken heart. And if her life had taught her anything, it was to take all the wins she could, even something as small as purple flecks of kyber in a moonstone necklace.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Luke is sounding like a bit of a dick in the next few chapters but I PROMISE this story is not anti-Luke!! Bear with me it'll all make sense soon!

They’d only been able to sleep for two hours, but Rey felt much better when Ben woke her up with a soft smile and gentle kisses on her neck. She smiled up at him, feeling his thumb brush against her pendant as he rested his hand on her chest.

She hadn’t realized how intentional he’d been to avoid that necklace until she felt his casual touches again. She reached up and brushed a hand through his hair, sighing through her nose.

“I just wanted to let you know I’m going back down there, you can stay here and sleep a little longer if you want” Rey shook her head, rolling out of bed and slipping on her boots, tying her hair back and spreading her legs on the bed.

“Come here for a second, I’m tired of cleaning crap out of your hair.” Neither of them voiced that it had actually been blood and debris she’d spent the better part of an hour washing out last night. He sat down on the floor between her legs and hummed as she gently began braiding the top of his head, letting it fall out towards the back.

“S’not the most stylish, but it’ll keep it out of your face” Ben let his head fall back, looking up at her with a smile. She leaned down and kissed his nose, smiling back at him as he hummed.

“Thank you” Rey knew that he meant for much more than just a quick hairdo but tapped the side of his head lightly.

“Alright, let’s go back to the fray” the two headed for the door and suddenly Ben stopped again, turning to look at her intently.

“Let’s make a deal” Rey smirked but nodded, eying him curiously as he pointed to the floor.

“Whatever’s happening out there, we don’t bring it in here. This is our space” Rey smiled, realizing the boundary was put in place just as much for her own well-being as his. She pointed back at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Except your headaches” he nodded once in agreement.

“Except my headaches” Ben placed a warm palm against her back, leading her out the bedroom door and back down to the chaos.

* * *

Rey knew that she could hold her own, but even exhausted with odd braids in his hair no one commanded a room like her husband did.

They’d been debating for hours. Rey had begun helping Finn with processing everyone as Poe, Han, Zorii and several other kept going back and forth, collecting information from the wreckages of Empire ships that hadn’t made it out of the fallout zone in time.

They’d asked Rey, and she knew her Scavenging abilities would be put to good use. But remembering her husband’s haunted eyes and impassioned _I’m so glad you weren’t there_ pressed into her shoulder hours before and had elected to stay back, helping Finn so Rose could take a much needed nap.

She and Finn stood hesitantly in the doorway, watching as the Senator from Dagobah began yelling about their inaction, demanding revenge. The Senate had quickly broken into two very clear groups, the Dagobah, Pandor and Sullust Senators demanding action. While Mon Mothma, Ben and Leia very adamantly opposed it, choosing instead to put their focus on attending to the survivors.

“If we don’t eliminate the threat, they’ll continue destroying planets and it won’t matter where we relocate everyone!” Ben placed his hands on the table, looking down at the specs and glaring across the table at him.

“We know nothing about them Senator. We don’t know their numbers, we don’t know their technology. We can’t even fully understand their motives. Even if we did launch an attack – where would that even be? We _don’t_ know, and I for not am not willing to sacrifice the lives of New Alderaan for questions we can’t answer-“

“But you could, couldn’t you Ben?” Rey jerked, her and Finn looking over their shoulder as Luke Skywalker entered the room, eying Ben with cold eyes. Ben’s eyes flashed in fear as Leia looked between the two nervously.

“Luke…”

“ _Couldn’t you Ben!?”_ the Dagobah Senator looked at him with piercing eyes.

“What’s Master Skywalker talking about?” Ben let out a low growl, eying his uncle dangerously as he rumbled his reply.

“I don’t know.” Luke let out an infuriated yell, slamming his hand on the table as Rey quickly turned to Finn.

“Go get Han” Finn looked at her hesitantly and she slapped his chest.

“Go!” She turned back as Luke pointed at him angrily.

“He can _hear_ them. The Sith! He’d be able to find them easily!” Mon Mothma stepped away from the prince, gaping at him as Leia gaped at her brother.

“Luke!” Mon Mothma backed away, looking over at Leia with a dangerous voice.

“Is this true?” Ben shook his head, eyes wild and Rey felt her heart hammering in her chest.

What was Luke doing? This was the time they needed to trust each other most, and here he was airing his own family’s dirty laundry when they needed to be a unified front.

“Of course not-“

“Yes it is! Tell them, they need the truth! What’s the colour of your saber Ben!?” she could see Ben’s control slipping and she suddenly rushed forward, unthinking in her action.

“It’s Purple!” the group finally acknowledged her as she walked up next to Luke, holding eye contact with her husband as she lied to the Senate.

“Ben’s saber is purple, I saw it just last night” Ben’s shoulders dropped in relief as Leia extended her hand in gratitude.

“Thank you _Rey_. Now that we’re done our little outburst…” She trailed off in irritation as the Dagobah Senator, who was a Tash, began yelling again.

Ben winked at her across the table, turning back to the debate as Han and Finn returned.

“Everything alright sunshine?” Rey nodded, turning to her father in law as she whispered on their way out.

“I just told a bold face lie to the Senate because Luke decided to share Ben’s headaches” Han froze and looked at her.

“He did what?” Chewie let out an angry growl and Rey nodded.

“Don’t worry, I handled it-“ but Han was already taking off, Chewie hot on his heels.

“Where are you going?!” Han turned back to her and she realized where her husband _actually_ got his steely gaze from.

“Gotta settle a _family matter_ ” Finn watched as he stormed through the palace in the direction of Luke’s guest quarters.

“What was all that about” Rey sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head.

“Family drama”

* * *

“Pretty sure everyone hates me now” Ben hummed noncommittally, his long fingers trailing up and down her arm as he looked up at the ceiling. She had her head resting on his chest and was looking out the window of her bedroom.

“Thank you, for covering for me. You don’t have to lie for me Rey” Rey hummed and pressed her lips to his pec.

“Luke had no business bringing that up at a table full of Senators and we all know it – besides, as far as I’m concerned it is purple, like mine” Ben smirked and rubbed her shoulder, looking down at her.

“Oh? Yours is purple too now huh?” Rey grinned up at him, laughing brightly and sitting up and grabbing the pendant off the nightstand.

“See? It never changed back” Ben stared at it, it had softened from the bright violet into a soft lavender but it had stayed all the same.

“Fascinating. Do you think it’ll stay like that?” Rey handed it to him, laying back down and curling back into his warmth.

“I hope so, I think it’s beautiful” Ben smiled, resting it on his side of the nightstand and pulled her back to his chest, sighing as his eyes drifted shut.

“We’re supposed to review all our information tomorrow, decide whether or not we’re going to launch a counter-attack.” Rey hummed, feeling herself sliding to sleep.

“Do you know what you wanna do?” Ben pressed a kiss to the top of her head, feeling her melt against him as she fell asleep.

“I don’t have the first clue”

* * *

"They're called the Knights of Ren. They don't necessarily have a loyalty to the light side versus the dark side, they just use the Force to get what they want" Ben hummed, nodding his head as he looked at the holoscreen. Rey watched from where she was standing in the doorway with BB-8 and Poe.

With the Rise of Snoke, and this fabled General Armitage Hux, Ben had had to step up in his role as Prince of New Alderaan. Rey couldn't remember the last time he'd been on the Falcon with her, and it had been days since they'd been together. Ben gone early and not back until she was already asleep. She could see the exhaustion sitting on his shoulders, his black royal robes cutting an intimidating figure compared to the regality they held on their wedding day.

He was pale, dark bags under his eyes. And she could swear that she could feel his stress as her own. She looked down at herself, in her plain grey robes, still dirty from her latest smuggling run and turned to Poe. Ben had insisted she continued going, she loved the jobs, and there was no reason to cut out all of their normality just because Ben was stuck in a role he never wanted.

"You go on ahead, I'm going to see if I can't steal him away for some lunch" Poe nodded, sending her one more hesitant glance before walking away, BB-8 trailing behind. Rey squared her shoulders and walked into the room, unnoticed by the delegates - except for Ben, who wordlessly raised his arm to wrap around her, pulling her into his side as the Senator from Dagobah continued speaking. He was one person Rey could gladly never see again.

"I refuse hide here, we must launch an attack" Ben shook his head, voice taking on that dark clipped tone that his wife hated.

"We do not have the technology or man power to launch an attack, half the Republic would fall." The senator gaped at him in fury, eyes widening in rage.

"Then Dagobah will launch an attack, you can offer support" Ben levelled him with a look, Leia and Rey sharing a glance as Ben spoke, his voice a low, terrible rumble.

"Then Dagobah will stand alone. I will not squander the innocent lives of my people on an underprepared attack against a legion with the capabilities of destroying entire planets." The tension in the room was palpable and Leia turned to Rey, eyes almost pleading.

"What brings you in Rey?" Rey smiled at her mother in law, feeling Ben's eyes on her as he squeezed her shoulders lethargically. She smiled up at her husband, trying to convey how happy she was to see him with just a look.

"I just wanted to see if anyone had eaten lunch yet, it's beautiful outside and I think lunch on the terrace could really help recharge everyone's batteries." She tried to be diplomatic, like it or not she was a member of the Royal Family, and even if she didn’t dress the part she could certainly get the kitchen to prepare a quit garden lunch. Ben's eyes softened and he gave her a secretive smile as Leia nodded.

"I think that's a fantastic idea Rey, shall we Senators?" The Tash slammed his hands on the table, pointing at her angrily. Leia locked her jaw, quickly losing patience with the Senator’s behaviour.

"This is ridiculous! Absolutely not! The Dark Side is returning to its full strength and the Whore of Jakku wants lunch" Leia let out an infuriated roar as the room suddenly became divided as Rey clapped a hand over her mouth.

That hurt.

But not as much as the grip now on her waist as Ben leaned a hand on the table, snarling out in fury.

"Apologize and take it back" the Senator laughed mockingly and Leia gave Ben a wary look, eyes darting to the door and back as Rey placed her hand on Ben's chest.

"I said, _apologize and take it back_ " Rey slapped his chest, feeling the humiliation turn into concern as her husband coiled like a dog. She leaned in and whispered into his ear, trying desperately to diffuse the situation.

"Ben, darling just leave it, let's go have lunch-" the Senator laughed again and gestured to her.

"Thank you _Scavenger_ , that's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say!" Rey swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the hurt of his mockery. It now made sense way no one from Dagobah had been at the wedding.

Her train of thought was suddenly cut off as the Senator let out a choked noise, eyes going comically wide while he grabbed at his throat, slowly lifting off the floor. The others in the room began gasping and yelling and Rey looked wildly around to figure out where the threat was only for Leia to let out a desperate yell.

" _Ben stop!_ " Rey finally turned away from her husband's face, realizing the hand that wasn't holding hers was now engaged in what was obviously a very tight Force-hold. Rey grabbed at him, shaking him desperately and trying to grab his attention.

"Ben, _Ben stop_. It's okay, I'm not upset just _let him go_ " Ben's eyes were steel and his grip unyielding as he ground out.

"Yes you are, I can _feel_ it" Rey stopped short at Ben's words, realizing he meant something different than merely understanding his wife. She was beginning to panic and the other delegates in the room were beginning to move from the stupor to attack when an old hand enclosed around Ben's wrist, an all too familiar voice murmuring gently.

"Hey kid" Ben suddenly froze, eyes going wide as he dropped his hand, chest heaving as he began to realize what he'd done. Everyone was staring at him, the Dagobah Senator now an unconscious heap on the floor and Han slowly released his hand.

"Dad?" Han swallowed thickly and squeezed his wrist.

"Ben..." The younger Solo jerked his hand out of his dad's, looking at the horrified eyes around him, his eyes finally met Rey's and he realized how tightly he was holding her. She gave him a watery smile and slowly reached for his face.

"Ben, darling-" he ripped away from her so abruptly he lost his balance, falling to the floor and scooting away from the group as his family slowly stepped towards him, Leia reaching out slowly.

"Ben-" he held up a hand, causing everyone in the room to flinch - except for Rey - and his eyes filled with tears as he stuttered out brokenly.

"S-stay away from me!" With that, Ben pivoted on his feet, scrambling up and running from the room. The Senator from Sullust looked at Leia angrily as Han's shoulders fell.

"General Organa, explain this immediately!" Han looked at his daughter in law with devastated eyes.

"He'll be on the Falcon" he whispered softly, eyes telling Rey this was far from the first incident as she nodded, turning on her heel and following after her husband's devastated wake.

* * *

Rey could have cried when she found him, locked away in his dad's bunk curled next to the bed, hands covering his ears as he begged whatever is was to leave him alone. Rey could feel his pain like it was her own and she wished she had more time to figure out what was happening but he looked up at her and she could swear everyone could hear her heart shatter as he let out an agonized cry.

"I'm sorry, oh stars I am so sorry! I'm a monster" Rey immediately shook her head, rushing to kneel in front of him as he heaved another great sob.

“No, no you’re not. Ben, look at me darling come on now” if he gripped his hair any tighter he was going to pull it out and his emotions washed over her like a wave.

He was so _scared_.

Rey swallowed thickly, gently placing her hands on his bent knees and spreading them slightly, curling in between his legs, her lower back pressing against his inner thigh as she wrapped her arms around his stomach, head against the hollow of his throat. She squeezed him tightly as she heard him muttering under his breath.

“Leave me alone, you’re not real, you’re dead, you’re all dead. Just leave me alone” she gently reached up and grabbed one of his hands, lacing their fingers together and kissing his knuckles.

“Ben, Ben look at me please” she pressed their joined hands over her heart and watched as he painfully turned to look at her, eyes red-rimmed and broken. She gave him a sad smile as her own eyes welled and whispered softly.

“Are you with me?” Ben sniffed and nodded, pressing his forehead against hers and closing his eyes.

“M’with you” Rey let out a wet laugh, running a hand tenderly though his hair and guiding his arms to wrap around her.

“Good. Be with me” he let out another pained sob and she stroked his head, hoping she was able to alleviate some of his pain. She had no clue what happened in the conference room, she’d never seen him use the Force like that before, didn’t even know he _could_.

But she did know that he was terrified of what she was going to say. At least she had some control over that.

“I love you Ben Solo, this doesn’t change anything” the sob that ripped out of his throat and across her face caused her to slip a little in her own tears.

“I love you, we’re in this together now. Whatever it is okay?” Ben clung to her like she was a life raft and buried his face into her hair.

“Forgive me, please I didn’t mean-“

“I know, shh, I know you didn’t. You’d never hurt anyone like that, I know you Ben. I know that wasn’t you” she held him while he cried, able to do nothing more than hold him, assuring him of his goodness and her love as he found an outlet for his pain.

She was already dreading the impending showdown with Luke.


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone had known the showdown with Luke wasn’t going to be pretty.

But Rey was pretty sure there was a special place in Hell for an uncle that demanded the immediate _neutralization_ of his own nephew. She sat on the couch in Leia and Han’s living room, holding Ben’s hand tightly as the two watched the older adults all scream at one another. She leaned over and whispered into Ben’s ear, trying to alleviate the tension.

“Do you think we’ll be grounded?” Ben breathed a laugh through his nose, silent but squeezing her hand as the tiniest smile tugged at his lips.

“What do you have to say for yourself kid?” Ben looked up at his dad, who had quite literally silenced Luke with a hand as Leia looked between both men in rage. Ben shook his head, looking down at his feet as he looked for word.

“I don’t know what to say – I’ve never done that before, I don’t know what happened, you have to believe me” he looked up at his dad with desperate eyes, and Rey was reminded again about how over the course of her involvement with Ben’s family it had become clear that Han was only one consistently in Ben’s corner.

Luke let out a harsh laugh and swatted Han’s hand away.

“That’s exactly what he wants you to believe! Leia, I know this is hard to accept but your son has been perverted by the Dark Side. He’s a threat to everyone.” Ben shook his head desperately and rose to his feet, grabbing his dad and shaking his shoulders as Rey stood quickly, prepared to intervene should Luke decide the contact was unwelcome.

“You can look! Dad, _Please”_ Han looked at him hard for several minutes, searching his eyes.

“Okay… Okay flyboy easy” Luke roared and flung his hand out, shoving Han across the room as Leia let out an angry shout.

“Luke!” Ben turned with a fire in his eyes Rey had never seen, flinging his own hand out in a strike which Luke blocked.

“I won’t lose our world to the Dark Side, even at the cost of my family!” Leia rushed over to help Han off the ground, calling out to Rey.

“Get out of the way, Ben, Luke stop!” Rey watched as Luke reared up again in fury, Ben freezing and looking at his mom who shook her head with tears in her eyes.

“ _Enough_ ” Luke let out a heartbreaking yell and flung his hand out again, Leia letting out a shocked scream.

But the hit never landed.

Rey stood in between her husband and the Jedi Master, her own arm raised and chest heaving as she stared the older man down. Her teeth were gritted in fierce determination as her arm shook with the weight of holding back the strike. Luke’s eyes went wide in shock as Ben slowly raised his own hand again, the two combining their Force to reverse it back on him.

“That’s not possible…” Rey and Ben released the hold, blasting Luke through the wall and into the next room. The whole family looking at them in shock as Han finally climbed back to his feet, nose bloody and wincing with every step he took as he looked over Rey's shoulder as Luke slowly pulled himself out of the rubble, Leia clapping a hand over her mouth in shock as she gaped at the newlyweds.

“Well that’s new”.

* * *

“I want you away from this for a while” Ben nodded as Leia looked at her son sadly.

“Take Rey, go back to your home. You’re both exhausted, and I’m worried it’s inhibiting your ability to fight the Dark off. You’ve done _so well_ with it – I won’t risk you falling” Ben watched as his mother clung both of his hands in her own.

“I’ll talk to Luke, get him to come around and figure out what this is between you and Rey. That’s a power I’ve never seen before. It makes both of you invaluable to us – and the Empire” Ben shook his head, looking at his mom.

“I’m not dragging her into this, she’s fought her whole life I won’t be what brings her into a _war_ -“ Leia gave him a shake and looked at him.

“Ben, she already is. Everyone in this galaxy is a part of this – we can’t just hide her away from the world” Ben clenched his jaw and his eyes filled with tears.

“I never wanted this for you Ben, and I’m sorry. But I can’t change what’s happening. However, I can give you a respite, go rest, get your strength back, spend time with your _wife._ You’ve barely been married six months. I’ll smooth things over with the Senate and when you come back we’ll have a better idea of where we’re standing in all of this” Ben nodded, swallowing thickly and covering her hands with his other one.

“And what’ll you have us do in the meantime?” She smiled and cupped his cheek.

“Go be happy. Get a hold on your headaches and for Stars’ sake teach your wife how to properly wield the power she has” Ben breathed a laugh and nodded.

“Don’t you worry about us – we still got Poe” Ben rolled his eyes, laughing and shaking his head lightly.

“We’re all doomed” Leia laughed and pulled him in for a hug.

“Be safe.” He nodded, going to pack as Leia sought after Rey.

* * *

“My son has a war within himself Rey, unlike anything I’ve ever seen” Rey nodded, continuing to pack her clothes as Ben and Poe were downstairs loading up the speeder with their belongings.

“I know he does-“ Leia looked at her with soft eyes, reaching forward and lifting the pendant from Rey’s neck.

“Did you know there’s enough kyber in here to make your own saber?” Rey shook her head, eyes widened slightly as she looked down at the purple flecks.

“It would require an immense amount of meditation, but eventually, it could be made into a saber. I hope to someday see it” Rey smiled and looked at her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be capable of that” Leia gently grabbed her shoulders, looking deep into her eyes.

“Don’t be afraid of who you are Rey” she pulled her into a hug and kissed the side of her head affectionately.

“You take care of yourself, and my boy” Rey nodded, hugging her tightly and stepped away, wiping a tear from her eye as Poe walked into the room.

“Ready m’lady? Your Wookie awaits” she laughed at Poe's playful insult and nodded, grabbing her bag and following her husband's best friend down to the speeder, hugging a bruised Han quickly before hopping into the seat next to Ben, smiling at him as the hatch closed and they took off. Ben smirked and looked at her as she let out an excited giggle.

“Once we get there, we should go get ourselves some paint and furniture, we can finally do up the house!” Ben nodded, gliding over the large lake towards the other side of the planet where their home was located, reaching over a hand to hold hers.

“Sounds good sweetheart, whatever you want” BB-8 chirped from behind their seats and Ben rolled his eyes.

“Did he _have_ to come?” Rey cackled and reached back to pet his head.

“Of course he did! He’s like a pet! No offence BB” the little droid chirped happily and Ben muttered under his breath.

“More like a Porg” Rey pivoted in the seat, putting her feet up against the side of the viewport and resting her head on his shoulder.

“You like Porgs” Ben let out a hum as they hit the mountain range. He turned to kiss the top of her head, Rey looping her arm through his on the control stick as her eyes drifted shut, body relaxing.

“Missed this, just flying with you” Ben dropped his head on top of hers, melting into his own seat as the speeder hit a good cruising speed.

“Me too” Rey snorted, rubbing her face against the blue flannel he was wearing and grinned.

“Miss your smuggling clothes too, so much softer than those robes.” Ben barked out a laugh and took his hand off the controls to tickle her lightly.

“You just like stealing them – I notice they all smell like starblossom” Rey shrugged noncommittally and kissed the clothed shoulder.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” Ben brought his hand back from her side to hold her hand, running his thumb across the back of hers as they soared through the afternoon sunlight. The two sitting in a comfortable silence for several minutes before Rey murmured again.

“Your birthday’s in a few weeks, we should have a party” Ben hummed as Rey continued to quietly talk, feeling tension he didn’t know he’d been carrying melt from his shoulders and chest, the pounding and constant whispering in his head beginning to abate the further they got from the palace.

“I love you” Rey looked up, cut off mid-sentence as he continued to fly. A slow smile spread across her face and she leaned up to kiss him gently.

“I love you too Ben” she relaxed back down, continuing her ramblings as they hit the halfway point, enjoying the familiar feeling of just being with her husband.

* * *

Rey had fallen asleep by the time Ben landed the speeder at their home, BB-8 rolling quietly out of the craft as Ben gently scooped her up into his arms, moving gracefully to the house. They could unpack in the morning.

“Ben…?” He held her more securely against him as she reached one arm up to grab his opposite shoulder, still in the clutches of sleep.

“S’okay sweetheart, we’re home” Rey hummed, drifting back off as he lay her on the bed. Ben tenderly pulled off her shoes and undid her belt, pulling it from her leggings as she clumsily pulled her hair out of her buns. She reached for him as she shucked off his pants, barely getting his flannel off before she pulled him into bed next to her and wrapped herself around him.

“Missed this” Ben hummed, his own exhaustion beginning to overtake him as he pulled her tight to him, tucking the blankets around him.

“Falling asleep next to you, missed it” Ben closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her forehead.

“M’here now sweetheart” she nodded sleepily and kissed his chest, humming out one last request as she completely fell under.

“Be with me” the two fell asleep together for the first time in weeks, arms tight around one another as they drifted off into a sound sleep.

“Always” Ben fell asleep with a soft smile on his face, after the better part of two months, the voices were _finally_ quiet.

Rey always did make the voices go away.


End file.
